the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
