I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i dont even know how to be here
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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