Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want her autograph on my taint
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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