so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
