His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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