Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
