there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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