if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
