we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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