we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
