I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize