apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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