dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
