She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
