i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just forgot I was standing up.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
