So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
it glows. i had to have it.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
