it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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