I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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