suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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