I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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