You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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