i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
