Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
