someone get that fucking seahorse.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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