THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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