So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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