Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
