i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
