i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
