Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
