I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
