On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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