Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
