you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
