you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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