Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
