pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
