So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
