Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
