I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
