im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
