Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
