I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
