Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
