my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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