My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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