I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
