The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
