You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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