we're blogging at a bar
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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