Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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