More tranny stories later!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
