Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The uberlube is also flammable
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
