Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
