Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
