so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
