I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize