i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
