the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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