So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
