Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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