things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
