That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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