Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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