He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
