problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
