No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize